I recognized our living room and the blanket draped over the sofa.
The date was after my surgery.
I must have been asleep in the bedroom.
Nick was standing near the couch while Chloe sat outside the camera’s view.
His voice came first.
“Your mother can’t take care of you right now.”
Then Chloe’s younger voice answered.
“She’s sick because she helped you.”
Nick paused.
“That doesn’t matter.”
I closed my eyes for a moment.
It mattered to Chloe.
She had understood more than I realized.
On the recording, Nick continued.
He told her that things were going to change and that she might be living with him instead.
Chloe asked if I could come too.
Nick said no.
Then she asked the question that shattered whatever composure I still had.
“Does Mommy know?”
Nick answered, “Not yet.”
The recording ended.
I covered my mouth.
The judge looked toward Chloe.
“Did your mother tell you to make these recordings?”
“No, sir.”
“Did she know you had them?”
“No.”
“Why did you record your father?”
Chloe swallowed.
“Because he kept saying different things when Mommy wasn’t there.”
Nick shifted again.
The judge waited.
Chloe continued.
“When Mommy was around, he acted nice.
When she went to sleep, he talked about taking things.
He said Mommy wouldn’t be able to stop him because she was weak.”
My eyes burned.
I had spent so much time trying to protect Chloe from the ugliness of the divorce that I hadn’t understood she was already witnessing it.
“How many recordings are there?” the judge asked.
Chloe looked at the tablet.
“A lot.”
Nick’s attorney stood again.
This time, his confidence was gone.
He asked for a recess so he could review what had been presented and determine whether the recordings were complete and authentic.
The judge agreed that the material needed to be handled properly.
But before calling the recess, he looked directly at Nick.
“Until I have reviewed this evidence, there will be no change in the child’s current residence.”
I exhaled for what felt like the first time all morning.
Chloe turned toward me.
I held out my hand.
She ran to me.
I wrapped my arms around her despite the ache in my side.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.
She buried her face against my shoulder.
“You were already hurting.”
That sentence broke me more than anything Nick had said.
