“I told myself I was protecting the family.
I was protecting my authority.”
Her face changed slightly.
She had prepared herself to fight excuses.
An admission left her with nothing to push against.
“I did not come to defend myself,” I continued.
“There is no defense.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Nothing you are not willing to give.”
“That doesn’t sound like Richard Bennett.”
“Richard Bennett has been wrong about many things.”
I reached inside my coat and removed a small notebook.
The leather was worn, and several pages had loosened from the binding.
Her expression hardened.
“What is that?”
“The places I looked for you.”
I opened it on the coffee table.
Each page held an address, a date, or a note from a failed lead.
Houston.
Austin.
El Paso.
Albuquerque.
A dozen smaller towns.
Returned telephone numbers.
Names of apartment managers who remembered nothing.
Near the back were twelve entries, each written on the date of her birthday.
Letter written.
No address.
She read the first entry, then the next.
“Where are the letters?”
“In my study.
Unsent.”
“Why didn’t you publish an open apology? You had newspapers printing every speech you made.”
“Because I was a coward.
I wanted you back without allowing the world to know I had driven you away.”
The truth settled between us.
She sat on the sofa across from me.
“I kept expecting you to appear,” she said.
“Not your investigators.
Not a lawyer.
You.”
“I should have.”
“Every time the door opened at work, I thought it might be you.
Then years passed, and I decided you cared more about winning than finding me.”
“I did.
For too long.”
Her eyes filled, but she did not look away.
“Do you know why I told Emma about you?”
I shook my head.
“Because before you became the man in that office, you were my grandfather.
You taught me to read route maps.
You let me sit in the driver’s seat of the first bus you bought.
You and Grandma made pancakes every Sunday.
I could hate what you did without pretending those years never happened.”
She touched the empty place near her collar where the locket had once rested.
“I gave Emma the locket because she asked why I still kept a picture of someone I refused to see.”
